Since I recently changed jobs, I’ve been learning a ton of new things. Moving from Windows/C#/Visual Studio/ASP.Net/SQL Server to OS X/Scala/IntelliJ/Play/MongoDB is a lot of change, normally you’d have some sort of strong point to leverage off of, but for me it is all new. I’ve always had an introspective personality, and the introspective part of me is looking at this and thinking that I got in over my head. The logical portion of my brain says the learning curve is expected and I’m working my way up it, but it is difficult to reconcile the two perspectives.
I had found the above diagram describing how challenge and skill interact and can cause boredom or frustration. The context of this diagram was how games try to stay in the flow channel, and the player response on either side of the channel. The more immediately relevant version was the one where it described the experience of starting a new job.
This diagram matches with my experience here, especially since I took a bigger hit to my applied skill level due to the radical change in the technical stack. This puts me further into the frustration section than other similar job change experiences, and causes the sort of anxiety that I had been grappling with.
I know I’m making sure to keep an eye on my stress levels and everyone at work understands the challenges that are being encountered since they went through most of the same ones at some point. I changed some of my habits around what I’ve been reading, less dense material more fiction. I changed some other habits, since I cut my commute down significantly I’ve been trying to make sure to use that time wisely and get some additional exercise to deal with the stress in a positive fashion.
By putting together the rationalization of what is happening I hope to assuage my own insecurities. The mental load of the insecurities can take attention away from learning and doing your best, making the insecurities a self-fulfilling prophecy. I hope this account of the feelings I’ve been encountering helps others to recognize that they aren’t anything abnormal to feel, but that you can’t let the negative feelings control your mind.