Book Chat: Daring Greatly

This is a bit outside of the normal material I write about here, but I felt that it was something that others might appreciate as well. One of my wife’s classmates gave her a copy of Daring Greatly and said that it was part of his inspiration to be in their doctoral program. I’ve always read broadly and tried to find a way to integrate that into my life. I saw this book and wasn’t sure if it was the sort of thing for me, but I decided to read it to find out. I started reading it and maybe a third of the way through I thought to myself, “I’ve read this book before but with the word vulnerability replaced with with word authenticity.” But I kept reading and eventually something started resonating with me.

What resonated was the idea that you need to put yourself out there, give more of yourself to the situation, and say those things you are thinking. You have to do that even if it’s not be easy, because it is important and is part of what separates good from great. The willingness to say something that puts yourself in a vulnerable position to open yourself to those around you takes a bigger commitment than most people are willing to make. People are willing to say the easy thing but not the hard things that require them to push against the structure around them. It’s like the Emperor’s New Clothes, everyone sees something but the incentive structure is put together so they don’t recognize the problem. This book is all about how to structure your own thoughts to be able to push against the structure around you.

There are portions of the book written in an abstract sense and some others that are much more specific. The specific sections contain several manifestos to describe how leaders or parents should behave around those they are responsible for. It puts out there that you may not be perfect but that you strive to be better and hope that everyone else engages with you in trying to be better. Each of the manifestos describes how the person in that situation can open up to those subordinate to them to truly embrace the position they are in.

I’m not sure if this is that profound, or if it found me at the point in my life that had me open to what it was saying. However I felt moved by this. It made me feel that I should push outwards and express my opinions further. I had been expressing myself in some domains, however it is hard to put yourself out there in all areas all of the time. Sometimes you just want to wait and let things happen, but sometimes you need to make things happen. Not in the doing sense but in the living sense, where you can’t just wait for something to happen but need something to progress the situation.

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